Thursday, April 29, 2010

Social networking, my eye!

"Let me repeat that - there is absolutely, positively no reason for any middle school student to be a part of a social networking site! None." - NJ Principal (attempting to move the planets).

Well, there's no reason for any middle school kid to play football for that matter. Kids get hurt, injured. Or join the Science Club (Future meth heads, start your engines!). Or to participate in a middle school dance. (As the Eagle's said, "There'll be a heartache tonight... ) Not to mention the fucked up shit that kids can watch after school at their best friend, Jimmy's house whose dad subscribes to EVERY porn channel possible.

Teacher: "Hey Billy, what did you do after school?"

Billy: "Me and Jimmy watched 'Jugg Fuckers #9' on Skin-o-max. It was awesome."

Teacher: 'Oo."

Quite frankly, a social networking site doesn't register a tick-turd's worth of harm or psychological trauma on the grand scale of life in the "middle school fast lane."

Jesus, haven't you figured it out: School is dangerous. School is a diabolical adventure. School is a series of jumps, twits, front-flips, and other acrobatic Jackie Chan-like moves performed daily, in between the hours of 8:30 am and 3:30 pm.

Hell, school causes cancer. (No, seriously.. those soy burgers?! What DO they put in those things? Ground up midgets?)

I admire them being concerned parents, but the best way to protect your kid from bad people is to talk to them. Like, about everything. And make sure they're not nuts. And if they are, put 'em in therapy. And talk with 'em some more and keep tabs on them without smothering them. And then talk with 'em EVEN more. (See a pattern?)

You signed up to be a parent, but don't put the kibosh on every single social thing your kids want to do -- it will just agitate the situation. And somehow, I don't think Social Networking should be at the top of your list.

And there's too much crazy shit around the corner.

'Cause I'm telling you, when this 3D Virtual Reality porn hits the TV... whoa, baby...

You know what...let's just leave the social networking to the parents...

Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids

1 comment:

  1. lol, she writes on his wall FIVE or SIX times a DAY!........that's a little overboard dont ya think??